App Profile: Hard Jewelry

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Rating: 5/5

For years, I’ve been searching for something, anything, to fulfill my yearning for happiness. Today, I decided my search must come to an end. “Nothing will end my suffering. I must give up.”, I thought. Then, there it was. As I was doing my last swipes through my friend’s and loved one’s Instagram stories, I had come across an ad. I hate ads, but this one was different. It was not annoying, or ridiculously weird. It was attention grabbing, beautiful, perfect. It was an ad for the Hard Jewelry App. As appealing as this app looked I could not help but wonder, had I finally found what would make me happy? I could only download and see. As I eagerly waited for the circle to complete itself and show the Open button, I hoped so much that this was it. I hoped that I would go on, and live a flourished life. Finally, I hit the open button. Instantly, I was brought to an unimaginably beautiful loading screen. The graphics were amazing. I was beginning to see the light I had been searching for in all of my 18 years of life. This was it. The Hard Jewelry App saved my life. Thank you William. Love is Temporary HJ is Forever.

crowvow

Rating: 5/5

You heard me, this app is simply amazing. I can find all of my favorite Hard Jewelry items on it and gaze upon each of their respective beauties for hours at a time. More so, when I am feeling rambunctious and perhaps even a bit exhilarated, or possibly rather stimulated, I can make the hardened decision to.. purchase one of these amazing items. Yet again, you heard me. Purchase one of these items. Yes, folks, it’s true, on this app you can actually purchase your favorite Hard Jewelry items. No longer do you need to put your information into a website, you can now do the far more satisfactory option, and put your information into a secure app. I know, I was shocked at first too. Of course, there are many more features in this amazing app, and all of them are dazzled and spotlessly clean. However, I shall let you go and discover these said features yourself. Enjoy as much as I did. Thank you Hard Jewelry, I love you and you changed my life.

Alexios Fish

Rating: 5/5

I was on instagram checking on the hard jewelry 6th year anniversary obviously and I noticed I had a reply from the CEO. I opened his dm and I was surprised to see that he invited me to stay with him and he would show me some unreleased items. I was so excited I made plans that same day. I showed up and everything was good so far but after he gave me water I started feeling woozy so I ended up asking to leave to use the restroom. Next thing I knew I was stumbling and fell to the ground. I passed out and woke up to being chained up in the limited edition hard jewelry handcuffs so I started yelling but then he showed up. He told me I couldn’t leave until I sacrificed a pint of my bloody to the hard jewelry demon so that they could continue to make new items for their supporters. I understood the assignment and decided to help him out. I got a free hard jewelry chain so I think it was worth it. 8.5/10 experience probably wouldn’t do it again unless he gave me puppy eyes and asked me nicely.