Vernier Graphical Analysis

I was a 6-7 year old boy with his very own ouija board when i felt the need for something more… i remembered in my sunday school vernier is the perfect tool to achieve a true sensation of absolute utter hell. So I downloaded vernier. After some intense and steamy graphing and plotting my sexual tension with my pastor, we were able to open a hellgate, because our tension was too hot. To our absolute delight, Satan (and his pulsating member) stepped through. Once we explained our predicament, he was more than excited 😉 to join me and the pastor in our endeavor to resurrect Jesus Christ (sorry, his abs are just so sexy). After a night of “reproduction,” vernier helped determine who was pregnant (as we were all male), which was a big help. Turns out it was me. THANK YOU vernier for blessing me with 30 instances of Jesus Christ! Bless our children and SATAN!!

the second amendment of the us gives everybody the right to bear arms, under civilized conditions, however. i was happily slamming twenty beers and a backyard burger one sunday evening, admiring the beautiful american women on television, when all of a sudden, a random force entered the room. i had to focus my eyes to realize it was vernier himself in the flesh, and i realized the curse i had placed upon myself by downloading a random app i hadn’t given much thought to. it was my mistake not to read the terms and conditions (i still haven’t read them) but something I had agreed to led vernier to show up at my house with a fully loaded gun, ready to shoot down myself and my beers unless i dropped down and did 60 reps of Jamaican twerking. i was absolutely heartbroken as to what this country had come to; this was not the behavior of a humble american. i strongly advise u not to download this app. btw im canadian.

I wish I could truely show the horrors this app brought forth to me but I’ll try my best without crying again. I thought it was just a normal educational app for class, but oh was I wrong. The moment I opened the app I could feel that something in the air had changed. My phone started to get real hot… and then he appeared on the screen. IT WAS THE MAYOR FROM CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS HES HERE GOD HELP ME. Just when I thought it ended… the doorbell rang. I looked out the window and there he was… I knew the only way to avoid death was to let him in. The moment I opened the door I hear “Blah blah blah science science science… bigger!” as his belly grows in power and crushes me. I’m still in the hospital… but I know he’s waiting.