Yo.

I was stranded in the belly of a beached whale, swallowed whole and yet to be digested. The only thing I had was my phone with only 2 bars of LTE data. My phone was quickly dying and inhaling whale slime was unappetizing. There was absolutely no way that I would climb out of the whales throat, so I pulled out my phone. I was not able to call anybody, as my data suddenly went away, and then I remembered the app Yo! I tapped on the app and sent a Yo to the nearest turtle. The turtle notified all of crabs who were hiding underneath the sand. Just seconds after I Yo! ed the turtle, I heard crabs clawing at the skin of the dead beaches whale. Eventually, I breathed fresh air! I thanked the turtle and said he could go on his way, but he told me his work was not done yet. He proceeded to lay his head on the eye of the whale, and murmured some soft words. Suddenly, the beached, dead whale was sealed up, and alive again! The whale tipped his head towards us, and dragged himself back to sea. Neither I nor the whale would have survived without the amazing app Yo.

i was backpacking one summer across the eastern seaboard with my chilean guide shaman mercellio angel de'postle and my northeastern hungarian mandog spottieottiedopealicious. while descending the peak of mt. reesuspeesus i stepped off the trail directly into a beartrap. mercellio angel de'postle tugged at the trap as hard as he could and spottieottiedopealicious was couragea enough to try and gnaw off my leg with his sharp mandog teeth. it was no use. as my vision started to fade from massive blood loss i remembered that i had downloaded Yo two years ago while drunk off of jet fuel mojitos in the everglades. with my last ounce of strength i sent a yo to the local search-and-rescue team, who popped out of various trap doors hidden in the trees to tend to my wounds. they were there the whole time in a hibernation state and could only be woken by the Yo of a true adventurer. Needless to say Yo saved my life, and it will save yours too. I now live in a brick suburban home south of Green Bay with a beautiful wife named Sleighbell. Spottieottiedopealicious had to be put down last year when he lost his front paw to an Australian watermonkey. Mercellio angel de'postle has a thriving business guiding middle-aged housewives who are "looking for a change" through intense dmt trips. All thanks to Yo.

Two years ago I was in the darkest time of my life. I was searching for a purpose in something, but nothing worked. Not school, not drugs, not my girlfriend; I even did alcohol, but that just left me feeling even more lonely. After that I thought I would branch out, so I got involved in a Jamaican dog fighting circle, but I soon learned that that was bad news. I was lost. But it was in this pit of despair that I discovered the thing that changed my life forever. I downloaded Yo. At first, I was a casual Yo'er, sending one to my mom every once in a while. But as time went on, Yo began to take on a deeper meaning. A Yo at 11 pm on a Friday night meant something completely different than a Yo at 9:30 on a Tuesday morning. It became something special, something meaningful. Yo transformed my life. It taught me what it meant to be a father, how to take out a bank loan, even how to talk to people without violently vomiting. I would not be the man I am today if it wasn't for Yo. Now to you out there, reading this review, thinking to yourself, "How could this stupid app ever be useful?" Give it a try. I beg of you, take a chance. You won't regret it. Thank you, God Bless Yo(u)