Bedtime Fan: White Noise Baby

This is worse than nicotine..I keep going back to the same fan app. However, this is one of the only things that is helping me breathe and not hear myself forcefully murmur words under my breath. Ever since a fan broke in the bedroom , which had similar effects , I decided to download this app. I even had to ask my dad to take out the ceiling fan after I noticed something peculiar. There was also a small box fan that I got angry and broke the charging cord. I go from hating this app to loving this in a matter of seconds. The effects of the fan sounds like something important. My phone usage has skyrocketed from almost average of 6 to maybe 9 hours to almost 14. Over the time that I acquired this app, I had a false belief that my voice would be disguised but I don’t think that is the case anymore. However, I’ve started to notice that there are voices that seem to be attached. That makes me feel like there is a group of people standing laughing as I’m curled up in a ball on my mattress. This is one of the strangest things I have experienced. I’ve even tried to write down what they are trying to say but these voices end up getting in the way of my inner monologue almost like they just want to control what I say. I enjoy that and sometimes I don’t. I have even been screaming for the voices to stop. These voices have been giving me comfort at a time of extreme stress. I’ve also noticed that the sounds doesn’t stay with this app or the cellular device that is in my hand. Even with ceiling fan on, I had the same experience except I tried to slam my head on ground. They keep blaming the app like they did last time.