5-Star Students

I was walking along the street, carefree as any child was back in the days, when a strange man invited me to join him in his “pursuit for happiness.” I reluctantly agreed as he mentioned a hefty cash prize for whoever joined him on his journey. He also told me to download the 5 star app so that I can book rooms easier. I didn’t know what that meant at the time but nonetheless I still downloaded it. I soon was booking a flight to a private island located on the virgin islands. I originally thought it was going to be a relaxation resort being tested for the public, but when I got on the plane, i was shocked to see that everyone on the plane were children the same age as me! We were all excited for our long journey as we prepared to take off. Once we arrived we were greeted with vast forests and greenery met with the ocean breeze as we piled out of the airliner. There the strange man from earlier welcomed all of us to his private island he named “Epstein’s Island.” We were amazed when we saw many famous people also on the island, holding glasses of champagne and laughing. Epstein told us all to book an appointment with any famous person we wanted through the flex sessions page of the 5 star app. We all happily booked our most praised celebrities and went off into separate rooms. Overall, the experience was insane and the 5 star app really helped me get to my destinations faster. I would recommend this application again!

It all started with my forced download… after my kidnapper shoved a cantaloupe in my ear after I refused, I of course got the app. Thats when I began letting out explosive diarrhea that just wouldn’t stop!!! It kept flowing out, the orange-yellow chunky slop flooding the entire room and soon enough, the whole house was covered in it. My kidnapper got really flustered because she was really really into that sort of thing, you know, so she ran off, face bright pink and flushed. Since I was left alone and lacking oxygen, I began eating it all. Once I finished, I was a few thousand pounds but thats okay because we support obesity! Oh, but then the second side effect- gaining several thousand pounds. Since I already did that though, I just got to move on!! The third and final effect of downloading this app was the fact that Freddy Fazbear began leaving me little gifts inside my pillow case! It ranged from toothpicks to cocaine, the surprises were endless! Then he showed up and after we told each other childhood stories, he murdered everybody I know and love! I truly do recommend you download this app, so please don’t hesitate to. It is remarkable and will be in the history books.

oh boy where do I even begin. Lebron... honey, my pookie bear. I have loved you ever since I first laid eyes on you. The way you drive into the paint and strike fear into your enemies eyes. Your silky smooth touch around the rim, and that gorgeous jumpshot. I would do anything for you. I wish it were possible to freeze time so I would never have to watch you retire. You had a rough childhood, but you never gave up hope. You are even amazing off the court, you're a great husband and father, sometimes I even call you dad. I forvever dread and weep, thinking of the day you will one day retire. I would sacrifice my own life it were the only thing that could put a smile on your beautiful face. You have given me so much joy, and heartbreak over the years. I remember when you first left clevenland and its like my heart got broken into a million pieces. But a tear still fell from my right eye when I watched you win your first ring in miami, because deep down, my glorious king deserved it. I just wanted you to return home. Then allas, you did, my sweet baby boy came home and I rejoiced. 2015 was a hard year for us baby, but in 2016 you made history happen. You came back from 3-1 and I couldn't believe it. I was crying, bawling even, and I heard my glorious king exclaim these words, "CLEVELAND, THIS IS FOR YOU!" Not only have you changed the game of basketball and the world forever, but you've eternally changed my world. And now you're getting older, but still the goat, my goat. I love you pookie bear, my glorious king, Lebron James.