App Profile: Turtle Clash - iMessage Game

Paul Brougham

Rating: 5/5

The world in which we live... Where the truth is veiled in empty words and promises remain unfulfilled. Where dreams are reminders of failure and life and death are intertwined. Can a new life ever truly grow in a world such as the one we know? Where God is said to be only a myth and too many sorrows are drowned in a fifth. There is no easy way to escape the despair, yes it is true, life isn't fair. However, one must remember there is hope. The ultimate motivator, Turtle Clash, has brought hope and therefore light to my depression. Turtle Clash is a tattered flag and a dream of time. Turtle Clash is a heartspun word, the rainbow, the shadow in white; the evening star inviolable over the coal mines; the shimmer of northern lights across a bitter winter night; the blue hills beyond the smoke of the steel works; the birds who go on singing to their mates in peace, war, peace; the ten-cent crocus bulb blooming in a used-car salesroom; the horseshoe over the door; the luckpiece in the pocket; the kiss and the comforting laugh and resolve. Turtle Clash has brought hope to my life, and I can only wish it can do the same for every man in this cruel world.

Xavier Jallaquest Armapest III

Rating: 5/5

I was walking home from school one day, wondering what I would do once I get home. Whilst I was wallowing in my impending boredom, a bright light manifested before me. Within that shining beacon came a mystical voice belonging to a vessel of god. The voice told me “The prophecy has been fulfilled. A game like no other has been gifted to the world. A game like no other before it. Turtle Clash. With this creation, you will be enlightened, and you will never feel any boredom again. You can live your life free of restless days and carry yourself forward to Nirvana.” And with that, the vessel left, and from that day forth, Turtle Clash has helped me hold my head high and bear witness to the secrets of the universe.

Bigbodycazzy

Rating: 5/5

Gaze upon the glorious app Turtle Clash - iMessage Game! Witness the vessel of entertainment fashioned after our lord and messiah Jesus Christ! Enjoy the wonders of a game you cannot possibly fathom! Nonbelievers beg for mercy and repent! The will of the heavens has bestowed a power so great, that not utilizing it would be a cardinal sin! Praise be to turtle clash!