App Profile: Newport Jazz

el mero chipocludo

Rating: 5/5

This is a wonderful app that tells you when each band is going to be playing and gives you a notification ahead of time to get you to the event on time. it helps you plan your time wisely to see the most music that you love.

Gangrene or Poutine?

Rating: 5/5

How does one begin to review something that redefines the very meaning of perfection? How can I use the limitations of the English language to express a joy that alters my perception of the human condition? Whenever I see that deep purple loading screen, a purple fit for the emperors of Rome, I feel how Pauly D must have when he discovered the Sistene Chapel, unearthing it’s glory for all of man. Staring into the undeniable power of God’s image, Snooki and the gang were wiped clean from his memory and he knew he was ready to begin his life anew spreading The Word. Faced with the superhuman ability to organize my schedule from A-Z OR by time of event begins an overwhelmingly pleasurable crunching of my skeleton that is ceaseless. The possibility of turning on notifications for my liked events reminds me that despite an increasingly high likelihood of the annihilation of our species within the next half century, there is still hope to be found in Newport mainstay Michel Camilo’s beaming grin. There are those who would say “this app crashes incessantly and thus doesn’t provide me with the only information I need it for” but there have always been, and will always be, those who are too insecure to bask themselves in the light of beautiful things. There’s not much I can say about this app that isn’t succintly summed up in the words of George “Alphonsus” Wein when he said “Where am I what is happening please unlock this door”

Uncle Jubb

Rating: 4/5

Generally speaking I love this app, but the latest update broke all of the links to artist’s websites. Especially disappointing since the festival starts today and I’m doubting it will get fixed before the festival is over.